Happy Independence Day.

The difference.

10 PM : (Flipping channels and on desi channel) A show for ‘Azadi’ night. A lady slowly shaking her body on music (yes I m not calling it a dance). A guy came from backstage, it wasn’t even close to graceful walk a man should have rather he was deliberately trying to move his shoulder (probably for the sake of music) but it was really un-wanted. Two isolated extras were ‘moving’ too and another extra was making big flames of fire by spitting something on it (God knows why).

Mr. President was trying to clap around, move his shoulders and show his interest and enthusiasm. Others were probably yawing or gossiping.

11 PM : (Flipping channels and on Indian channel) A show for some awards ceremony. An item to tribute the movie ‘Black’. 20-30 participants all wearing strip of black cloth on their eyes and were unable to see yet they were dancing and running here and there on stage, formation (almost) never broke and they were synchronized in complex steps of not only the dance but the whole theme.

Audience were sitting still, hypnotized. (None needed to clap and move his shoulders to show enthusiasm).

Getting growing help

Aunty No. 1. : Did you see U’s sister when she came to pick him up?
Aunty No. 2. : No! Isn’t she in States?
Aunty No. 1. : She’s here abhi, she was in sleeveless top and short skirt. Common now, when you are in Pakistan you should show some decency according to your culture ‘hamaray bachay bhi ab baray hu rahay hain’ (kids are of 10 to 12 years of range)
Aunty No. 2. : *Agrees*
Me : That’s good. It’ll help ‘em.
Aunty No. 1. : What?
Me : Just in case, if they are not growing ‘well’ and there is some deficiency, you know…. It will ‘test’ them and help them grow better.
Aunty No. 1 and Aunty No. 2. *staring me with a disgust*
Me. : *runs out*

Muhabat sha'or nahi hai.

It’s more instinctive.

Anyway, the following line just bumped into my head and inspired me to grab a pen and write something on it; like the old times. But I found myself unable to write a single word though the complete imagination was in my head…had no words to support it. I have lost it. I know I have lost my inspiration, my reasons long ago, but on a long road of life there are chunks of motivations which I had too; at times. But not now, lost them too, at the level where I couldn’t find a single word.

Anyway, then I was just going thru some old stuff and this is the first one that popped up from the random pages. This was, infact, a male version of Ambreen’s original ‘Nazm’ which I am writing here first.

Chand Ghantay
Original nazm by Ambreen Qureshi

Main nay kae jeevan jiye
Un chand ghanton main..
Ju rait ki manind hath se phisal gae..
Per usski aik aik sa'aat main..
Main nay tumhain pooja hai..

Pooray raastay
Udhar tum khamosh... Idhar main..
Per uss khamoshi main hum nay dhairon batain keen
Tumhari aankhain...
Aur mairi muskurahat ki jumbish
Jis main..
Hum nay aik dosray ko apna aap havalay ker diya
Kabhi na vapis lainay kay liye..
Tumharay hathon ka lamse mairi hathailion kay raastay..
Mairay khoon main sara'at ker gaya
Kabhi na ruknay kay liye...
Aur..
Mairi saanson main tumhari khushbo ki mehkaar aagae..
Kabhi na murjhanay kay liye..

Suno!!
Abb mujhay maloom hua hai..
Muhabbat kia pagal pan hai!!!

Chand Ghantay
Male version by Me

main ne kae jeevan jiye
un chand ghanton ke har ik pal mein
jo hawa ki manind...
hamain cho ke nikal gae
bay reham waqt bhi
tham na paya..
per us ki eik eik sa'aat mein
mein ne tumhain chaha hai.

saray rastay
idhar mein khamosh udhar tum..
per us khamoshi mein meri roh aur teri roh ne
iqrar kia, izhar kia, aur pyar kia
tumharay phool se hont aur un ki jumbish...
jo meri nazroon ki chubhan se thi
haya ki deewarain gira bethi
aur meray hath beqaboo..
teray hathoon ko apna bethay
shidat-e-jazbaat ke ahsaas
meri roh se teray jism mein sara'at ker gaye
aur jab meray hont..
meray zabt se bagawat ker bethay
tumhari sansoon ko betarteeb aur tumhain badhawas...
apnay narm aur num ahsas ki khushbo...
tumhain sonp aye

Suno!!
Abb mujhay maloom huwa hai..
ye pagal pan hi muhabbat hai!!!

2:59 AM

2:59 Am is exactly what my computer clock is showing right now, strange time.

Suddenly the environment becomes so empty. T.V. on mute and no tick tick of the keyboard. There is no hum of A.C. tonight, the window is open and it feels like emptiness is slowly crawling in from the window as well. A fear of power failure has lessened since I read the slide on ARYOne that the problem has been fixed.

Cell on charging gives an impression its hibernating, 7 people online on MSN and I am talking to none. Diary just besides me, a book I am reading is on the table but I don’t feel like reading it right now. Another book (I am reading two books simultaneously) is on the pillow and same goes for it.

13 hours of power failure caused a headache but I am not sleepy yet. And I am thinking my teeth are becoming bad and I need to see my dentist; I know I will end up delaying it again for (maybe) months. In my mind, I was thinking what things I need to get done by tomorrow and it turned out several things depend on other things which are not in my hands so the only two left.

I think blogger is having problem too because I wasn’t able to post comments so that too is not going in my favor. Usually when once you can’t post you end up not posting a comment for that entry although you wanted to (or maybe you didn’t that badly).

I am disappointed, at several things perhaps.

August

So, how many of you wear Pakistani flag’s badge on their shirts in August? I usually wear one from the beginning of the month till the end. Have heard some critics and some people have appreciated it. But I like to wear one anyway.

T.V.

I examined some of my electronic skills on the T.V. myself and it seems to be working fine for now. Those were more or less ‘cleaning’ skill rather then electronics but unless they are working for me its all good. I think I just saved (or atleast delayed the expense of) RS 1500 to 2500.

T.V. again.

It's not even been two months to this post and here I am again with the second T.V. not working this time. This one is not in warranty anymore.

Anyone know any licensed SONY Service Centers in/near Gulshan?

Book Review

The text of the first xerographic image, created in a makeshift laboratory in Astoria, Queens, by Mr. Chester Carlson, the inventor of xerography.

I finished reading ‘Prophets in the dark’ by David Kearns and David Nadler (Though Mr. Kearns is the core writer Nadler joins him in the end when they share some personal experience). The book is about how the Xerox (famous copier company) reinvented itself to beat the Japanese companies when Xerox was at its worst downfall.

Mr. Kearns who served as the CEO of Xerox from 1982 to 1990 starts the story from Mr. Chester Carlson, the inventor of the historic office invention, the photocopier. He continues to tell us about his life and how he ended up joining Xerox from IBM. And ofcourse, the remarkable history of the company itself.

The first machine Xerox introduced was 914. A massive success, though there had been enormous defects but it was a success nevertheless. The company grew at enormous pace. Various other successful managers were hired from different companies like Ford, IBM etc. And thousands of people were hired as worker, sales representatives and so on.

With the Ford men onboard a cultural and political difference started to grow in the company over the years. Xerox people felt they owned it, knew well what they are dealing with while the new management from Ford were the people who believed in numbers and statistics. They only knew the concept of how to grow.

Xerox encountered various sues, even from the government itself on its patent, that the company monopolize the copier business. IBM told Xerox whether to allow it or not they were going to make the copier and so did the Kodak. Xerox did win the sue against IBM but they finally ended up relaxing their patent because there was no way out. Although the copiers introduced by these companies were no better but customers were fed up of the jams, defects, customer supports etc from the Xerox end. And then the Japanese came and they were selling the machines lower then the cost Xerox spent to make these machines.

Once 90% of the copier market was captured by Xerox, now only remained at 12%. The company was going down and no one was willing to admit. After all we are the best, we are the pioneers. The mind set was arrogant.

It was obvious that company needed the Quality products to survive, but what is quality? No one understood (yes that is true, even often we don’t understand what quality really mean). It was mentioned in the meetings but never acted upon. And then external consultant was hired. Mr. Nadler.

Communication gaps between the company and the customer was at its worst height. Xerox was not making the products that a customer wanted. Communication gap within the company was huge. One of the interesting concepts Nadler introduced was external and internal customers. When the suppliers get the supplies from the warehouse, suppliers are the customers and so forth. Now is the customer satisfied? What are the requirements of the customer? Are they being fulfilled? The analysis showed that there were people in the company who didn’t had any customers, and they were asked to stop doing what they were doing. Similarly before any meeting two questions became essential. Who is the customer? What is the customer requirement? It turned out that half of the time there was no customer and since those meetings never needed.

It was certain that the change is required; the whole culture of the company needed to change, and quality throughout the company was needed and fast. More important, top management must not only agree but truly understand what kind of a change it will be and what really the quality is. Training was held for the top people and within some years it was planed that every employee will go through the same training. (Consider a company who have hundred thousand employees) and each employee going through a training twice. Notation of Learn it, Use it, Teach it and Inspect it was introduced. LUTI.

Several benchmarks were introduced with top companies and achieved. People were motivated, rewards were given. It wasn’t achieved in a day or a month or year but took a decade. Though the basic concept was understood even before. There weren’t only the good decisions, there were massive bad one’s too.

What makes the book actually interesting is, every detail Mr. Kearns provide about every problem faced, its background, history and the problem itself. What was intended solution and why? What was the thought process behind? And when it turned out not being the good decision the reasons why? Mr. Kearns admits several bad decisions he made, several learnings. Perhaps most common being ‘Not every manager you like is the perfect manager for the job.’ The book is an excellent read for the students and businessmen equally.

Please Explain

Hain? Just two days ago we spoke and now the email? Is it a joke?

What will she think?

I was driving back home, at the signal, when the light was red, there was this Rachshaw almost parallel but bit away from my car. A woman of around 28-30 was in and her ‘dopatta’ was hanging out, touching the back-wheel and it was already torn apart, not to mention it was indeed dangerous if it gets stuck in the running wheel.

When we had an eye contact I intuitively tried to point towards the ‘dopatta’ and my lips moved verbally saying it but without a voice. I don’t know what she thought; she instantly turned her face away in anger, muttering something (probably swearing at me).

Fair enough. But a sudden question came in my mind, when she gets home and notices what happened to her ‘dopatta’ what will she think? (a) Will she realize what I was trying to say? (b) Or, she will just think it was another bad day, started off with a guy waving hand at her and ended up with messed up cloths?

Quote of the day.

"Good judgement comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgement."

Walter Wriston

Time out.

I am at a cut off of the socialities. I need a time out; and I want to give them the same. I plan to spend time lone, mostly awake at nights, reading. And, in the meantime, I plan to do some undone stuff I need to take care of.

I am still loved.

I wasn’t expecting much of the friends/people would remember my birthday. I know, there are some sweethearts who were counting the days; but I didn’t know there are others who were counting the days but without mentioning. Although, some wished me few days earlier for various reasons but at the 12 AM Amma was the first one to wish when she entered in the room, dancing and singing the jingle when I was reading a book :) almost at the same time ‘SH’ wished online (But I saw the message few minutes later).

But all the three phones stayed quiet till 12:15 AM when ‘A’ called from Lahore. Around 1:45 ‘A2’ Wished online and opened a thread (I guess that’s when most of the people find out, and remembered :p ). Then ‘SK’ wished in a PM and opened a thread. Somewhere around 2 ‘J’ called... felt good. Then ‘SH’ called as well this time.

At 12 PM ‘SR’ wished. ‘H’ and ‘U’ sent sms from Abotabad and promised my gift and calls are due :D. ‘J’ called again around 6…what a sweetheart. ‘SN’ called around 7 PM all the way from Europe and only ‘SN’ can tell how much laugh did we had. Soon after ‘SN’s call ‘S’ called (errr too much of S’s being confusing).

Found the E-Cards in my inbox from ‘SA’ although I am still unable to open the site but this was another one that brought a smile. ‘A’ also sent the E-Card later.

The first call from what we call ‘Khi Gang’ was from ‘SM’ not before the 11 PM (What a disappointment na, the ones who should have called first called in the end :p *Emotional blackmailing wali tone banaing*). Then ‘M’sent an SMS and just before 12 AM of 26th ‘R’ called.

No! There wasn’t a party. Spent 4 hours driving and 5 hours in two different Gov. offices. Sigh.

Thank you everyone for all the love, prayers and wishes. There were so many others who wished in threads, emails, sms’s, messages etc. Thank you all.

PS: For those who dont know, my birthday was on 25th of July.

Books, Net and blah blah.

God bless KESC, due to their double phase my cable provider’s servers burst and we (the users) are suffering from NO-NET. I am using dialup right now but usually dialup never likes me, I can get disconnected even before I can post this entry and not being able to reconnect, let’s hope this doesn’t happen.

Errr I don’t know what I am writing, I seem to be in a hurry and …khair.

There was another explosion in London today—I think. Whoever these terrorist bastards are I want to line em up and shoot them once and for all.

Sigh.

Mahwash, if you are reading this I did go the book shop you suggested. I bought eight books yesterday. I didn’t find the two books I wanted to buy though.

Okay let me list them; perhaps any of you (reader of this blog) can suggest or provide some pre-reading info about any of the book. BTW do suggest which book should be read first.

1. Anna Karenina By Leo Tolstoy (I have heard a lot about this one)
2. Prophets in the Dark by David Kearns and David Nadler (an old read, but its always nice to know how the geniuses reinvent the organizations when they are about to go bankrupt)
3. Mystical Islam – An introduction to Sufism by Julian Baldick.
4. A Sufi Saint of the twentieth century – Shaikh Ahmad al-‘Alawi’ by Martin Lings. (ermm I just thought I have heard the name Shaikh Ahmad Al-‘Alawi’ somewhere so just bought it)
5. Stephen Hawking; quest for a theory of everything by Kitty Ferguson. (She writes about Hawkings quest to find the theory of everything)
6. Stephen Hawking; A life in Science by Michaed White and John Gribbin
   

Than finally there are two novels for the times when I have nothing better to do, chosen by a friend ‘M’, when I asked him to get something sci fiction or suspense… one is quite old and I don’t think other one is off my taste either… but anyways, will see.

Search Engines.

Not that I have a huge traffic on my blog coming from search engines but the few hits that I get are always redirected with weirdest keywords ever. Here are the recent three searches which directed people to my blog.

irfan pathan latest news (Google)

Who is he? Some Indian underworld guy? Ohh yes, you will get a lot of info about him on my blog :~p

kahin to ho ga july 11 2005 episode (Yahoo)

Okay. The image of this person in my mind is a middle aged auntie who missed the episode of this Indian drama. She probably had a discussion with some other auntie and she told her what happened (probably something interesting) tempting, she want to read the story word by word.

love hina's blanket scenario (Yahoo)

I don’t wana go in the description of this search…its probably too intimate.

I dare all the readers (who own a blog) to share the keywords people use to search their blogs :)

My Basha

Meet my adopted basha. Please note its not Bacha or rather Bachi but a Basha with a s.

Whoever, not going to be nice with my basha will get a stick on his/her head. That is all.

Maybe not.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them”

Moments ago – the ecstasy, the bliss I felt, has faded away. I haven’t truly learned to deal, but, perhaps it was the blessing, blessing of forgetting the problems for the momentary joy. I am back on my quandary; that I have become insensitive. I care, I do – I love, I do; I just quite didn’t say it. My slacky response is not the absence of immense feelings rather it is my inability to deliver thoughts into words.

It's a beautiful day.

I was feeling hungry and thought to have a ‘Chai Paratha’ from ‘Pathaan ka Dhaaba’ and to my surprise, I found the streets wet and a fresh aroma in the breeze. Suddenly everything became beautiful and aptly fitting in the rhythm. Little kids deliberately walking on the water spots making sure to spill it out with hard punching steps. Lilt of birds, annoying dew drops were replaced by the beautiful rain drops on the windshields. I felt my sense of aesthetics suddenly developed, colorful clouds were running high, smiling as it seemed, being naughty and annoying for the poor sun and not letting it show its face today, only the glints. It looked like a team that knows they have won the day and now it’s only enjoying the frustration of its opponent. And then sitting on a broken chair right besides the road having a tea in a stainy cup. Can a life become more beautiful?

Quote of the day.

I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.

Sir Isaac Newton

Understanding by observing.

I watched ‘The Enterprise’ from the middle last night. It was about this nonphysical life form which stayed close to this certain part of the universe where this virus existed. A fetal, airborne virus and it would attack almost all species. This nonphysical life form called themselves observers. They would observe the reactions of other species (physical and emotional) when the virus attacks them. Like Klingons would kill the infected because they became weak and useless or Vulcans would quarantine them and try to act logically.

Then comes the Human, with a strange combination of emotions of hope, love and compassion. Just because there was a slightest hope you could save your crewman Capt. Archer took off the gloves to operate the critical instrument. Of course he did not succeed, but why would someone show such a compassionate callow act towards others when (a) the chance to save them is slim anyway and (b) if you don’t succeed this means you are dead too? This is exactly what this nonphysical life form didn’t understand and make the first contact. They were willing to observe more in order to understand the silly emotional act of humans when Capt. Archer suggested maybe you can show some compassion yourself to feel and ameliorate your understanding rather than just observe.

Filmi indeed, but lets just enjoy the movie for now.

Point in this entry? None, actually. Apart from, perhaps, sometimes, we don’t understand things or others by mere observation unless we become thee.

Will you read...

Will you read my personal diary after I depart? Or will you still consider it unethical? And burry it with the dead?

What if, it contained writings, thoughts, feelings that you never imagined, will be, atleast, in my diary?

Do yourself a favor. Don’t open it.

Rukhsati and ...

I wanted to write about and write garrulously about various happenings in recent days. Let alone it be A’s ‘rukhsati’ but this migraine from consecutive three days have left me lulled. And these daily functions of mehndi’s, weddings and valima’s. The only cozy and comfy moments I have found were in the middle of night, half laid, wrapped in my blanket in front of my PC in dim lights.

‘A’ looked gorgeous as a bride. She is – no doubt very pretty. Technologically unaware, simple and innocent and with those motherly instincts that I guess are found in most elder sisters in the family. Yet very professional and intelligent. (Did I mention she was the highest GPA holder?)

Mamo’s kids will be here in a day or two, I guess, haha, I need to hide all my books, papers, pens, cells, remote etc – like if I can?

‘M’ and ‘S’ have an interview tomorrow for the UK’s student Visa, both looked quite uncertain about the result after the recent tragic incident of bombing in London. Sad news indeed, fifty innocent souls died.

You will leave me.

My heart sinks and fear rise, breathing seems burden, time will slow down and become stagnant, I will be trapped in pain – in discomfort. You will let go the bond we have, unseen virtual connection, singularity between the two of us and all because of me. I will fail you and I will fail myself. I will say/do or I wouldn’t say/do what I should/shouldn’t have, based on your picture perfect. I am no higher; I am no angel but, the same human with my own filth, my own weaknesses. You wouldn’t accept it.. would you? I will stand there unmoved and I fear you will walk away right in front of my eyes with despised final looks, which will tear me apart, wound my heart and soul. I fear..

.. I am sorry.

Driving/automobile rants/cries.

- Petroleum prices rose again *mad*
- I hate those people who take a relaxing walk on the road when crossing it. Even if you are at the fast lane you will need to hit the breaks to slow down but they won’t take few steps faster. If you wouldn’t slow down; a collision would occur. (What if, breaks fail? Or you can’t use’em for whatever reason? There is no sense of safety from their end.)
- Above scenario applies to some modern cats; and I hate them too.
- My mechanic Sattar shifted.
- Every other day my khatara makes this new weird noise and leave me wondering what’s wrong this time?
- I hate those people who drive while their younglings in their laps.
- And I hate those drivers who wildly drive with school kids in cars/vans.
- I hate broken roads all over city.
- I hate those who (to save 200/300 meters) will drive wrong on one ways; and will end messing up whole traffic.
- I hate bikers who can’t stay in one lane and run here and there like little kids do while playing.
- I hate those truck drivers/bikers who stay in fast lane while driving at 35/40 KM.
- Did I miss the busses and coaches?

That will be all for now.

Mangos and Pimples

I broke the juicers jug. Yes it couldn’t bear my torture of whole ice cubes when making a Mango Shake. It’s too difficult a job to crush the ice before putting it to grind. Ahh. Lazy me. Not to worry, I have another spare jug and I will buy few more, just in case.

I already have two half football sized pimples on my face enough to confuse people to say it’s a pimple or a face, but, will it stop me to have two-three or sometimes four mugs of mango shake? I guess not, I will live with my pimples.

Internet Blackout.

Probably the term rest of the world is unaware of, but, we are experiencing it. Four years back when we visited PTCL Jublee Exchange and PTA’s office for a university project I posed a similar question; ‘do we have a backup?’ they didn’t and its evident they still don’t. Around 135MB were dedicated for the data/internet at that time via Sea-Me-V3 and the total consumption is 700+MB as they are telling us on the TV. Alas. It feels like an important part of life has been taken away; internet for sure has become a necessity.

Beach.

Its funny, the things I think about that I will put them here on the blog, as soon as I start writing I forget. It’s too soon the old age should be hunting me. Perhaps it’s something similar to that astigmatism, having problems focusing.

I was at the beach yesterday morning around 8, me and mateen, the only good thing left about the beach is the breeze. Once the dignified beautiful ocean and beach… now only looks like a horrible trash, smelly, dull colored poisonous.

Clumsy and absent minded.

I have been clumsy and absent minded, here are some of the things I did in last couple of days:

- Left fridge’s door open and forgot (twice)
- A bike fell over me (my mistake) and caused a swollen leg and a wound.
- Stumbled upon several people when walking.
- Parked the car and forgot where I parked it.
- Tried to call Khannu several times but his cell is always not responding.
- Tried to listen Abida Parveen and Nusrat but once again I realized I m not a music/song’s person.
- Had enough time to observe a Donkey on the street what it was doing for not less than 15 min. (btw now I know why a Gadha is really a Gadha)
- And several more, but like I said being absent minded, I forgot.

Ambreen is getting married.

On Thursday, Seema and Ambreen called. We met, and, went to Mona’s place. Ambreen wanted to invite for her wedding, and we all wanted to meet one last time informally before her wedding. Hopefully, in less than a month she will move to Canada. Another good friend will get married and become too distant to reach. But let’s just make a little prayer, and wish her, wish the couple to have a wonderful life ahead, full of happiness and joys.