Quote of the day.

I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.

Sir Isaac Newton

Understanding by observing.

I watched ‘The Enterprise’ from the middle last night. It was about this nonphysical life form which stayed close to this certain part of the universe where this virus existed. A fetal, airborne virus and it would attack almost all species. This nonphysical life form called themselves observers. They would observe the reactions of other species (physical and emotional) when the virus attacks them. Like Klingons would kill the infected because they became weak and useless or Vulcans would quarantine them and try to act logically.

Then comes the Human, with a strange combination of emotions of hope, love and compassion. Just because there was a slightest hope you could save your crewman Capt. Archer took off the gloves to operate the critical instrument. Of course he did not succeed, but why would someone show such a compassionate callow act towards others when (a) the chance to save them is slim anyway and (b) if you don’t succeed this means you are dead too? This is exactly what this nonphysical life form didn’t understand and make the first contact. They were willing to observe more in order to understand the silly emotional act of humans when Capt. Archer suggested maybe you can show some compassion yourself to feel and ameliorate your understanding rather than just observe.

Filmi indeed, but lets just enjoy the movie for now.

Point in this entry? None, actually. Apart from, perhaps, sometimes, we don’t understand things or others by mere observation unless we become thee.

Will you read...

Will you read my personal diary after I depart? Or will you still consider it unethical? And burry it with the dead?

What if, it contained writings, thoughts, feelings that you never imagined, will be, atleast, in my diary?

Do yourself a favor. Don’t open it.

Rukhsati and ...

I wanted to write about and write garrulously about various happenings in recent days. Let alone it be A’s ‘rukhsati’ but this migraine from consecutive three days have left me lulled. And these daily functions of mehndi’s, weddings and valima’s. The only cozy and comfy moments I have found were in the middle of night, half laid, wrapped in my blanket in front of my PC in dim lights.

‘A’ looked gorgeous as a bride. She is – no doubt very pretty. Technologically unaware, simple and innocent and with those motherly instincts that I guess are found in most elder sisters in the family. Yet very professional and intelligent. (Did I mention she was the highest GPA holder?)

Mamo’s kids will be here in a day or two, I guess, haha, I need to hide all my books, papers, pens, cells, remote etc – like if I can?

‘M’ and ‘S’ have an interview tomorrow for the UK’s student Visa, both looked quite uncertain about the result after the recent tragic incident of bombing in London. Sad news indeed, fifty innocent souls died.

You will leave me.

My heart sinks and fear rise, breathing seems burden, time will slow down and become stagnant, I will be trapped in pain – in discomfort. You will let go the bond we have, unseen virtual connection, singularity between the two of us and all because of me. I will fail you and I will fail myself. I will say/do or I wouldn’t say/do what I should/shouldn’t have, based on your picture perfect. I am no higher; I am no angel but, the same human with my own filth, my own weaknesses. You wouldn’t accept it.. would you? I will stand there unmoved and I fear you will walk away right in front of my eyes with despised final looks, which will tear me apart, wound my heart and soul. I fear..

.. I am sorry.

Driving/automobile rants/cries.

- Petroleum prices rose again *mad*
- I hate those people who take a relaxing walk on the road when crossing it. Even if you are at the fast lane you will need to hit the breaks to slow down but they won’t take few steps faster. If you wouldn’t slow down; a collision would occur. (What if, breaks fail? Or you can’t use’em for whatever reason? There is no sense of safety from their end.)
- Above scenario applies to some modern cats; and I hate them too.
- My mechanic Sattar shifted.
- Every other day my khatara makes this new weird noise and leave me wondering what’s wrong this time?
- I hate those people who drive while their younglings in their laps.
- And I hate those drivers who wildly drive with school kids in cars/vans.
- I hate broken roads all over city.
- I hate those who (to save 200/300 meters) will drive wrong on one ways; and will end messing up whole traffic.
- I hate bikers who can’t stay in one lane and run here and there like little kids do while playing.
- I hate those truck drivers/bikers who stay in fast lane while driving at 35/40 KM.
- Did I miss the busses and coaches?

That will be all for now.

Mangos and Pimples

I broke the juicers jug. Yes it couldn’t bear my torture of whole ice cubes when making a Mango Shake. It’s too difficult a job to crush the ice before putting it to grind. Ahh. Lazy me. Not to worry, I have another spare jug and I will buy few more, just in case.

I already have two half football sized pimples on my face enough to confuse people to say it’s a pimple or a face, but, will it stop me to have two-three or sometimes four mugs of mango shake? I guess not, I will live with my pimples.

Internet Blackout.

Probably the term rest of the world is unaware of, but, we are experiencing it. Four years back when we visited PTCL Jublee Exchange and PTA’s office for a university project I posed a similar question; ‘do we have a backup?’ they didn’t and its evident they still don’t. Around 135MB were dedicated for the data/internet at that time via Sea-Me-V3 and the total consumption is 700+MB as they are telling us on the TV. Alas. It feels like an important part of life has been taken away; internet for sure has become a necessity.

Beach.

Its funny, the things I think about that I will put them here on the blog, as soon as I start writing I forget. It’s too soon the old age should be hunting me. Perhaps it’s something similar to that astigmatism, having problems focusing.

I was at the beach yesterday morning around 8, me and mateen, the only good thing left about the beach is the breeze. Once the dignified beautiful ocean and beach… now only looks like a horrible trash, smelly, dull colored poisonous.

Clumsy and absent minded.

I have been clumsy and absent minded, here are some of the things I did in last couple of days:

- Left fridge’s door open and forgot (twice)
- A bike fell over me (my mistake) and caused a swollen leg and a wound.
- Stumbled upon several people when walking.
- Parked the car and forgot where I parked it.
- Tried to call Khannu several times but his cell is always not responding.
- Tried to listen Abida Parveen and Nusrat but once again I realized I m not a music/song’s person.
- Had enough time to observe a Donkey on the street what it was doing for not less than 15 min. (btw now I know why a Gadha is really a Gadha)
- And several more, but like I said being absent minded, I forgot.

Ambreen is getting married.

On Thursday, Seema and Ambreen called. We met, and, went to Mona’s place. Ambreen wanted to invite for her wedding, and we all wanted to meet one last time informally before her wedding. Hopefully, in less than a month she will move to Canada. Another good friend will get married and become too distant to reach. But let’s just make a little prayer, and wish her, wish the couple to have a wonderful life ahead, full of happiness and joys.

Some people

When you meet them for the very first time, you just know it, know that you and s/he will develop a great deal of understanding (rather, you feel you people already have an understanding) and your friendship will last forever, hopefully.

Where have my ghosts gone?

Nahh. I don’t know if they were ghosts, probably just my hallucinations but they were so strong, I could really feel their presence and see them. Never had a direct eye contact with them but when I was looking at somewhere else I used to feel/see them walking by etc, but when gazes turned to that direction there was nothing.

They never scared me, neither was I afraid of them, we were at piece with each other. Three or four times a day or probably more, and I just realized its been months I haven’t seen them, I cant recall the exact date or month when I stopped seeing them but what I know is, they are gone. Where? I don’t know. Why? I don’t know.

Happy Father's Day

Dear Baba,

*Twenty one minutes pause*

...there was so much to say, so much to tell, but both, the email I sent you and this virtual entry in the horizon of the net end’s with just three words...

Happy Father’s Day.

New Post

Zag has vanished. It’s been long, a week or maybe two, haven’t seen him posting and his blog has disappeared as well.

I got my eyes check after almost 14 years. The last time I visited an eye specialist was in 1991 and to my surprise, my eyesight was twenty twenty (masha Allah se). I am slightly astigmatistict (sp?) but he said I don’t need glasses for that; furthermore, he believes, chances are, I won’t need glasses for next 8-10 years. Feels good. Atleast something in me works perfect. About the headaches and a blur focus, he said it’s because of the migraine not the eyesight. Khair.

I will be going Hydrabad again tomorrow and will be back in the evening. It’s almost 3 AM, I am still up, not sleepy, so I guess I will sleep once I m back, not to wonder till than, I will be having a HUGE HEADACHE. Sigh.

Irfan’s PC is still besides my bed, I have been busy doing nothing so I couldn’t fix it. Sigh. I guess that’s all for now.

The Kingdom of Heaven

I watched Ridley Scott’s latest movie “The Kingdom of Heaven”. Ridley continues to pick similar topics after “The Black Hawk Down” and “The Gladiator” Although I found most of the people complaining about Ghassan Massoud who played the role of Great Salahudin but the guy seemed okay to me. Liam Neeson had a small role, Orlendo Bloom was okay but Eva Green looked very pretty in the beginning of the movie.

Overall a good movie, considering the fact it was made by the west. Some western critics claim that Salahudin was not as soft as portrayed in the movie; while I have my criticism that it didn’t provide much information about the pre-attack hundred years. How the Muslims were treated; even the western Christian historians such as Michaud and Mill have testified the brutal events, for e.g. Mill writes “The dignity of age, the helplessness of youth and the beauty of the weaker sex were disregarded by the Latin savages. Houses were no sanctuaries, and the sign of a mosque added new virulence to cruelty”

“The streets ran with blood until ferocity was tired out. Those who were vigorous or beautiful were reserved for the slave market at Antioch, but the aged and the infirm were immolated at the altar of cruelty” and these lines are not coming from a Muslim historian but Mill. Michaud says “All the captives, whom the lassitude of carnage had at first spared, all those who had been saved in the hope of rich ransom, were butchered in cold blood. The Muslims were forced to throw themselves from the tops of towers and houses; they were burnt alive; they were dragged from their subterranean retreats, they were hauled to the public places, and immolated on piles of the dead. Neither the tears of women nor the cries of little children—not even the sight of the place where Jesus Christ forgave his executioners, could mollify the victors”.

Few more lines from Mill “It was resolved that no pity should be shown to the Muslims. The subjugated people were, therefore, dragged into the public places, and slain as victims. Women with children at their breast, girls and boys, all were slaughtered. The squares, the streets and even the un-inhabited places of Jerusalem, were strewn with the dead bodies of men and women, and the mangled limbs of children. No heart melted in compassion, or expanded into benevolence”.

Since they did not portray this brutal, slaughtering events as they should have it lessens the chances of understanding why Sultan Salahudin came to attack Jerusalem. Alas. Atleast they did admit his honorable personality with such a compassionate behavior with the locals and for that, the movie makers should be credited. Sultan’s dignified, noble and compassionate behavior is not only recorded by Muslims but like earlier, it can be found in the chronicle of Ernoul. Ernoul was in the Jerusalem the time Sultan attacked it and other western Historian’s.

Sigh. Too much of movie talk.

Misfortunes never come alone.

If I am not mistaken there is a quote something like “Misfortunes never come alone.” First it was a fan that burnt around 10 days ago; the main fuse tripped off itself but there was a small fire in the wiring, nothing major but my mom hates the little black spots on the roof now caused by the fire. TV remote (I got it replaced under warranty) and now the fridge. It just stopped working. Argggggg.

Highlights

Highlights of last week.

- I shaved.

- Been to Hydrabad

- Didn’t get a chance to jog regularly.

- I realized when I jog I become giddy.

- TV’s remote has stopped working.

- SAMSUNG’s after sales service sucks.

- I have three movies but I don’t know how to operate my TV manually.

- I had “Chai Paratha” at dawn, at Pathan’s Quetta Hotel.

- I TCSed Mona’s birthday gift (her birthday was in January and I sent her a gift after 5 months)

- I TCSed Hina’s gift as well (atleast her birthday was last month)

- I am sick (temperature, tonsils and my back hurts madly)

Insomnia and Orkut

It’s been around 32 hours I haven’t had a sleep, actually I did, around one or one and a half hour but that too, very disturb. My head hurts but I m not sleepy. Another insomniac attack?

Khair, I was just browsing through the orkut profiles and I don’t know what’s wrong with programming gurus. Usually they write weird things about the ideal first date. One of this guy (who I think was completely genius when it came to C/C++) and when I checked his profile, he was just a kid, going to be 21 in few months. Anyways, his ideal first date was something like “Having an interesting argument followed by a simple dinner” later, he defined his interesting discussion; it was about Relativity Theory, Cosmo Physics and what not. And what makes it interesting would be if she would bring some interesting point which he never thought about before. Now that really would be some date :)

This other guy who answers a lot of queries when people ask programming questions wrote something interesting. He said “It’s not important what they say, they want; but, what they respond to.” I paused, tried to replay it over and over again in my mind, I don’t know, in some of the scenarios it seems true, in others it doesn’t. Khair (Yes another “Khair”).

Then there are some desi kids (yes 15 to 35 yr old kids) who often write in their profiles (and in others scraps all over) .. well, if u translate, it reads something like this “ANYTHING, JUST ANY DATE WITH ANYONE WOULD BE A PERFECT DATE”

I think I saw two profiles of fellow bloggers. Bcos one had the same display pic which she has here and in her profile (in her friends list right up there) I saw another display pic which was from a recent picnic they have been too.

Burnt Alive

Next time you are having your lunch/dinner in any of the restaurant you have been umpteenth times take a look around yourself. The people, furniture, floorings, walls, decorations and then imagine yourself locked inside. The shutters have been closed and the restaurant is set on fire. What will you do? Where would you go? And it gets dark when the power goes out and it starts to burn like a hell. The things you touch are blistering hot and soon the air itself becomes the acid – every breath you take in only bakes your lungs, you slowly starts to smolder inside and outside.

Would you scream? Would you run? But run where? What exactly would you be thinking? Do you want to live more? Hoping and praying if I survive I will never do this and that? Or I will start doing this or that? Is there something you wanted to tell your family member or a friend? Do you have any regrets? Not this soon… not like this?

Than there will be a time when you won’t be thinking at all or feeling? Or would you still be feeling the pain? Would you still be fluttering or now calmed, just there, waiting for the angle of death? The skin and flesh will merge into one, your nicely combed hairs are no more, and the classy looking dress you were wearing is now only an ash along with yourself. Would you want to take a look at yourself then?

Four men were burnt alive in KFC. One of them was a delivery boy, maybe he was one of those who have been to my place when I have ordered for a home delivery. Which one was he? The one who couldn’t find the address and called again to ask for directions? Or the one who was 10-15 min late and I sarcastically told him “aap ke 30 min ho gaye?” and he only gave me a smile? Or he was someone else? He was burning, he couldn’t run, why? What was he doing there? Making a living? Did he live? How much pain did he suffer? The witnesses said when some people were setting KFC on fire Rangers were just opposite the street – watching.

This is barbaric, implacable, this is un-human. And I hate myself, just minutes after I write this my slightly wet eyes will dry and I will forget, forgetting is a blessing alright, but will those effected, will ever forget?

Blast

Less than a kilometer away from where I live a suicide bomber attacked Imam Bargah yesterday. Although last I heard on Geo they only mentioned six casualties but I believe the number should be much higher. Some of the injured were brought in M. Rab Medical Center and one of them didn’t survive.

I feel insensible, I don’t know what to write. I feel sad and I feel abhorrent. Is the life so inexpensive? What good will you bring by killing innocent people? What day will you win? Where is the mighty right? This is just a lynch, a cold blooded murders. Alas. And I am angry on people; I used to think our people don’t have a civic sense, now, I think they are rather insensitive. It is too difficult for them to give a room to an ambulance, unless you smack on their bonnet and yell “Get the Hell out of the ambulance’s way”.

God may help us. May the souls of departs rest in peace.

Star Trek

I have been asked why I haven’t bloged in past 8 days or so. The truth is, I don’t know. I can say, I have been busy, there were guests at home for two days, and then I have been out almost whole days. Or I can say, I just couldn’t write, didn’t know what to write – and that is more close to reality. I was trying to write something 3 days ago but there was a power failure and I lost it, didn’t feel like completing that post.

I have started to watch Star Trek – The Enterprise from last couple of days again. The new episodes are better and it’s getting interesting (although I still believe nothing can beat the Next Generation with Capt. John L. Picard). Since I missed it from the beginning I don’t know what exactly went wrong and why Zindi’s have started to believe Humans are hostile species. Zindis are developing a weapon that can destroy the whole Jupitor and they intend to use it to destroy Earth. Reptilian General (Reptilians are zindi’s too but haven’t evolved more as humanoid?) is in the command of it.

There is this other species (I forgot the name, lets call them X for now) they can’t live in our space, so they are trying to build this sphere in the universe inside that sphere they will be able to live. Daniel showed Capt. Archer a glimpse of future, there will be a war between X and other species of our universe, Humans, Zindis, Volcans etc. And we will win the war. Since X are able to time travel they know what will happen in future and its probably them who are trying to convince Zindi’s to destroy Earth (So Humans are already destroyed in future and they cant be a part in future war and X have a chance to win that war). Anyways, Capt. Archer is on his way to attend the Zindi council to convice them.

See, I guess my post proves I have nothing to write, nothing to share these days :)

Hiccups

Its been about 24 hours and hiccups are still there. Slept only few hours, hardly, and I can literally feel my whole chest burning inside, my lungs and upper chest hurts as I breath. BTW I can hold my breath for 1 min 30 sec. I could have hold it more but lets not take the risk. Sigh. Hiccups.

How much more black can this be?

“Its like, how much more black can this be?
And the answer is none. None more black.”
-Nigel Tufnel.

Although, Mr. Tufnel was speaking about the state of software development while he delivered the following line, I was wondering how much it stays true for the life itself; atleast, sometimes.

Technology claims it created a world, a global village, where distance is now void, but I for one have started to doubt it. As my cousin said the other day “we only created individual rooms.” We have started to live with machine, not humans. We have started to evolve with machine, not humans.

Few days back, I was talking to a friend when we were just laughing about, if, there will be a day when computers and humans will catch the same virus. Like there are some virus that attacks both, the men and the mammal. Later, I was thinking it’s already happening. When my PC is attacked by some virus it gives me headache, mood swings and discomfort. Maybe, its just beginning of the evolution with machines. After centuries or perhaps just decades we will co-exist with them – ohh wait, we already co-exist with them.

Coming back to life, when it seems black and dark. ….Have you ever been to a party when suddenly there was a power failure and you were in complete dark? Although, you might had your friend standing right next to you but just in that single moment, didn’t you feel all alone? In a complete darkness? It is the same moment I am talking about, in that moment I start to wonder if we really have a destiny or life is just like a foliage randomly flying in different directions where ever the breeze pushes it away.

In the movie Forest Gump, Tom Hanks said maybe its both. Yes. Maybe. Its both.

Icecream

"Life is like an iceacream, enjoy it, before it melts".

Just had an Iceacream Jelly after dinner from Baloch Icecream. Life is so icecreamish sometimes.

Filmi...bery hi filmi

Movie : Hitch

Brief background of the scene: Sarah and Hitch love each other but there have been some misunderstandings. Finally Hitch went to her apartment to apologize, so far things didn’t work good, there was a man in her apartment (her brother in law but she didn’t mention). And now they r going somewhere, Sarah sat in car with her brother in law, started the jumpy drive and Hitch came back running after the car.

*BIL (Brother in law)*

BIL : You okay?
Sarah : Yeah…No..I am fine.

*Hitch jumps on the car*

Hitch : *yelling* You ll never be fine neither will I

*Sarah hits the breaks, Hitch fells off the car*

BIL : Maybe I should drive?
Sarah : *getting out of car* Are you trying to get yourself killed?
Hitch : *on the road, his leg shaking* If that’s what it takes.

*Woman (Sarah’s sister) coming out of store says (Sister = Sarah’s sister)*

Sister : Sarahh.. what happened?
Sarah : He jumped on the car
Sister : Why?
Sarah : *shrugs*
BIL : *shrugs*
Hitch : *still on the road trying to get up* Because that’s what people do. They leap and hope to God they can fly. ..*ohh ah …ouch* …. As otherwise we just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the hell did I jump?... but here I am Sarah… falling….and there is only one person that makes me feel like I can fly… its you.
Sarah : *touched, calmed down* So… you kinda like me huh?
Hitch : Nah…I love you…I love you fromm….*she starts kissing him*

Logic

Quote of the day: “Logic is only the beginning of wisdom; not the end.”

F-16

Just for the heck of entry and talking about the motivation and creativity "F-16" is what I saw written on the street donky. I wasnt even finished with my smile, when next, I saw a rakshaw, the line on rakshaw was "Mei bara ho ker truck bano ga". Now thats what I call Motivated IT (cant call em ppl).

Alpha Bravo Charlie

I spent continuous 10 hours from 10 AM to 8 PM watching the old PTV drama on my cable and just when i was in the last episode KESC reminded me how much they love me - it was a power failure. So is there any good soul who can let me know what happened in the end? I think the last scene i watched was when Gulsher was attemping to run.

Wakeup Call.

I was talking to a friend (a university fellow) on MSN who now works for Texpo Training Center, Dubai, and he told me that another of our friend (also an old university fellow) is accepted for his Ph.D. in LUMS. Two of the very dedicated, hard working and genius guys in their area of work I have known. He deserved it, Good luck to him.

Dad called and at one point he said “If you are easy on yourself; life is tough. If you are tough on yourself; life is easy” I think; that he thinks I am being easy on myself, maybe, he is right.

If these aren’t the wakeup calls for me, nothing will be.